Is that new tingling I feel?

The other night after a nice bought of grown-up fun with my hubby, I started getting tingling sensations in my numb areas!  It was similar to that feeling of your hand or foot waking up.  It was bizarre and good at the same time.  It lasted a good ten minutes and I just lay there, relishing in the sensation.  It of course went back to numb again, but that was an amazing feeling.  It has been over two years since I had any feeling in the areas affect, which was my foot and backs of my legs and parts of my groin.  Weird, but I'll take it.

Falling down the Rabbit Hole

I can see a pattern here with this CES mess.  Just when you think, "hey, I'm doing well", CES likes to say, "Well, let's just see about that!" 

I fell walking out of my front door this morning.  I was carrying a couple of small boxes to mail.  They were not heavy nor awkward.  I went to step down and my left ankle turned and down I went.  My left ankle and foot are my gimpy ones.  It hurts.  It didn't swell too much, but it sure did hurt and I took off the first layer of skin on my right knee.  Thankfully it didn't bleed so I just had to put on a band-aid and not change my pants. 

I'm sore tonight.  I've felt off and bad all day.  I hate when CES decides to knock you down a peg and not let you get to comfortable thinking that you just might be okay.

2 Years

May 18th marked the second anniversary of my surgery for the ruptured disc that caused my Cauda Equina Syndrome.  May 18th is personally a craptastic day for me.  My mama passed away from leukemia on May 18, 2006.  I had a car accident on May 18, 2010 and I had major, life changing surgery on May 18, 2011.  So; I don't really enjoy that day on my calendar.  

Looking back over the last two years I have a great deal to be thankful for.  I am walking much, much better.  I am having less electrical nerve pain.  I feel stronger.  I don't have nearly as many accidents with my bowels.  My bladder is still quite weak and I still have many times I need to wear a pad, but overall much improved.  I've learned to live with the numbness.  I've adapted to the restrictions in lifting.  My ankle is stronger and I can sometimes wear flat dress shoes.  I doubt I will ever be able to wear heels again, but I'm learning to love the body I have.  I can't change the fact that I'm unable to wear adorable heels or boots, so I mind as well rock some tennis shoes.  I'm getting there.  I will love me for who I am now and stop mourning who I used to be.  

I'm not able to run, but I'm pretty sure that if a scary-ass monster was coming right for me, I just might be able to sprint for a few seconds and hopefully hide behind something!  I can tackle stairs and only have to rest once I get to the top. 

My sex life has improved since the beginning.  Thank God that he saw fit that at least the important part of my anatomy has some sensation and I can truly enjoy the act.  

So even though it sucks to have numb butt cheeks and backs of my thighs, I'm truly doing well.  

I'm ready to start tackling getting into shape again.  I think I'm ready to actually try some real exercising on the treadmill.  I want to start some simple floor yoga stretches.  I'm ready to do some light weight work for my arms because even though I'm pretty awesome, the bat wings aren't really something I'm keen on.  

I guess I'm trying to say that I have much more to be thankful for than to be upset over.    

Holy Shocking Nerve Pain...

I was woke up this morning around 4am with terrible shocking nerve pain in my left foot.  It's been quite a while since that has bothered me.  Just when I think I'm doing okay or better, it comes back to remind me; yet again that I ain't better.  I ain't all right.  Grr. I am truly thankful that I am not as bad off as I could be, but it still doesn't take away the fact that I am not like I used to be and it sucks!  It really does suck.  I'm not who I used to be.  I'm trying and working against any and all negativity, but dang...this shooting, electrical shocking pain makes that difficult.