Moving to Italy...

Slowly things were coming along and I was doing okay.  I had began to wear pads for the incontinence episodes.  They were few and far between, but if I coughed, laughed or sneezed it would be a flood and I would need to change clothes.  I leaked urine when I was intimate with my husband.

I had been cleared to move overseas to Italy by the Navy.  My surgeon continued to say that I would make a full recovery and wouldn't need any follow-up care.

We took the flight to Italy.  As a precaution I wore a Depends on the flight.  (I did not want to have an accident on the plane and not be able to get up because of turbulence, etc).  It's a good thing I did, because for the first time since right after surgery I had trouble with my bowels.  I had soft stools that I couldn't control.

Two days after our arrival to Italy I had extremely loose stools that resulted in me having to leave a briefing early.  I soiled myself.  I felt awful! I don't think anyone saw or if they did, they did not say anything.  I went back to the TLA we were staying at and slept most of the day.  I think it was a stomach bug or something because I felt better after that.  A day or two after that incident, I got my period.  What a mess that was!  My periods have become increasingly heavy and painful.  I've noticed that my cervix and uterus have fallen to the point that they are almost out of my body.  My cervix hangs out at the opening of my vagina.

Several weeks now after arriving here in Italy I wear pads all the time and change them out often.  On occasion I have a day where it's not a problem, but then other days it is a problem.  I went to the open house at my son's middle school.  There are several flights of stairs.  Physically I was able to walk up and down them, but I leaked so much urine that it leaked through my clothes and I had to leave early.  It's frustrating to have such an embarrassing problem.  Only people that know about this problem are my immediate family members.

This week my cervix has dropped even more and it is very uncomfortable.  I've finally made an appointment with the doctor.  I go next Thursday.  I'm nervous about addressing these problems with a new doctor.  I'm afraid that I will be sent away.  I'm afraid of being yelled at.  I'm afraid of what they will tell me.  I'm afraid that they will say that there is nothing that can be done and I have to live this way for the next 30 plus years.
I'm just flat out afraid.